


A Difference in  Perspective

by VictoriaJumbled



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, John is delusional, M/M, My First Published Work, Pining, Unrequited Love, mary is evil, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 13:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5128949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictoriaJumbled/pseuds/VictoriaJumbled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"John, I only ever wanted you to be happy."</p>
<p>When confronted with his flatmate's feelings, John decides it's time to be completely honest with Sherlock in turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Difference in  Perspective

“John, I only ever wanted you to be happy.”  


“You wanted that happiness to come from being with you. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Sherlock. I’ve tried to to be nice. You made your feelings… obvious…. And I haven’t even been on a single date since it was over with Mary!”  


“I never asked that of you. I never stopped you from asking someone out. I never expected you to. Why did you assume I wanted you to be miserable?”  


Sherlock sat in his chair, the picture of calm if not for the fists he kept clenched in his lap. It only served to infuriate John further.  


“You bloody well knew that I would do what I could to keep from hurting you! You always acted jealous, from the first moment I moved in. You wouldn’t let anyone near me! The only reason I managed to marry Mary was because you faked your death and felt guilty about it!”  


Sherlock dug his fingers into his thighs. His façade was quickly slipping.  


“Is that how little you think of me? You believed I helped plan your wedding, orchestrate your stag night, and stand in front of an entire audience praising you out of guilt?” Sherlock snarled. “Did it never occur to you that I did these things purely because I thought they brought you happiness? I supported your marriage with an assassin because she was who you chose to be with. I would have killed her myself in the most vicious way possible had I thought different. I faked my death merely to keep you safe. You weren’t happy, but at least I could ensure you were alive. Do you not realize that I felt physical pain knowing I could not ensure your happiness as well?“

Sherlock had stood towering over John without even realizing it. He stared at his doctor, willing him to believe him. 

“You manipulative bastard. You really must believe I’m the most ignorant git imaginable if you think I’ll buy you having motives outside your own selfish gain. You knew I would never accept your friendship unless you were polite to Mary. After all, where would you be without your pathetic lap dog?”

“Oh, John,” Sherlock laughed. “You are everything. You are so much more than a soldier, a doctor, a partner, a companion, or a best friend. You are the heart of this city, the thrill of the chase, the ecstasy of the high clearing my veins. You’ve saved me. You’ve created a human out of this pathetic machine. All I want is for you to see it as well, and to reap the benefits you so deserve.”

John sighed and turned away from Sherlock. 

“I’m not even gay. I’ve _tried_ to feel the same but I just…. I cannot. I have to do what’s best for me now. I’ve reached the point where you can’t be the biggest part of my life. I’m sorry” 

John picked up his coat without even turning to look at Sherlock, and shut the door to 221b quietly behind him. 

||

Sherlock woke to John shaking him. He looked around and saw he was lying on the sofa of the flat. He must have become unconscious while John was watching that dismal film about the prostitute and the stock broker. 

“Sherlock? What the bloody hell was that about? You were crying, and saying ‘don’t leave’. Talk to me”

Sherlock saw the fine lines of sleep blurred with worry across John’s face.

“Sherlock, listen, I am not going to leave you. I might stay with Mary until we can finalize the problem, but I am not leaving you again. We haven’t spent weeks working on deceiving Mary for me to change my mind now.”

Sherlock took a few deep breaths to build up his posture. 

“I know, John. It was just a silly dream. You know these pills deteriorate my mind. Why you insist I take them, I don’t understand.”

“Maybe because you were shot in the chest, yeah? Listen, I will make you a cuppa so that you can settle your nerves, but you really must get some rest before we go to your parents. We have a long day ahead of us. Don’t want you giving away our position against Mary, now.” John smiled fondly at Sherlock. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re my best mate. After we finish this with Mary, we will be safe and I’ll be home again.”

“You’re right, John. I don’t need any tea. I think I’m fine now.”

Sherlock rolled over to face the back of the sofa. He pulled back up the covers John must have laid on him and focused on his heartbeat that was slowly steadying. John walked to the corner of the sitting room and turned the lamp off, so Sherlock could resume sleeping. He paused in the entry to the hallway and turned back to Sherlock. 

“Merry Christmas, Sherlock. To many more spent together.” 

“Merry Christmas, my dear John.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time someone else has seen my work. Criticism entirely welcome!


End file.
